Bound with Blood
by VAdarkwind
Summary: This is basically a story told with Lissa's POV when Rose leaves her to hunt down Dimitri. It breaks down the parts and tells how Lissa feels about this. One-shot.


**Bound in Blood**

 **Chapter 1**

I walked towards a cluster of trees. I stood there, perfectly still, and waited. I had heard the news: Rose was leaving St. Vladimir's Academy. I hid my thoughts from Rose, not wanting my friend to know my true, bitter feelings: destroyed, morose, guilty, a little angry. I didn't know how long I waited, but then, all of a sudden, Rose was by my side.

"Hey," Rose said, appraising me carefully.

"Hey." I wrapped my arms around herself even though it was a warm afternoon. Whatever Rose found warm, I found distant and chilly. I felt a bitter cold inside of me, but I tried to ignore it. "I knew it," I said. "Ever since the day they said his body was gone. Something told me you'd do this. I was just waiting."

"Can you read my mind now?" Rose asked me with a rueful smile.

"No, I can just read you," I said, not without bitterness. I swallowed hard, not wanting to continue. The closer she got to the point... When she got there, Rose would leave. "Finally. I can't believe I never noticed. Victor's comment... he was right." I gazed off at the sunset before turning my gaze back to Rose. Much to my chagrin, I felt a flash of anger. I couldn't hold my feelings back now. It was too late. "Why didn't you tell me?" I cried, close to tears. "Why didn't you tell me you loved Dimitri?"

Rose just stared disbelieving at me, like she couldn't believe that I had yelled at her. I was thinking the same thing. _Rose_ was the one who yelled at people, not me. Even when I had tortured Jesse, which was something I didn't ever want to do again, my voice had been quiet. The kind of quiet that sent shivers coursing down your spine.

"I couldn't tell anyone," Rose finally said.

"I'm your best friend, Rose. We've been through everything together," I pointed out, angry at her refusal to trust me. I w _as_ her best friend for the sake of St. Vladimir's. "Do you really think I would have told? I would have kept it secret."

She looked at the ground, guilty. I tried to meet her eyes, but she refused to meet my gaze. I watched her dark eyes. "I know you would have. I just... I don't know. I couldn't talk about it. Not even to you. I can't explain it."

"How..." I pondered about how to phrase my words. "How serious was it? Was it just you or—?"

"It was both of us," Rose told me, eyes grief-stricken. "He felt the same. But we knew we couldn't be together, not with our age... and, well, not when we were supposed to be protecting you."

I frowned at that. "What do you mean?" I inquired.

"Dimitri said that if we were involved, we'd worry more about protecting each other than you. We couldn't do that."

I felt guilt slam into me. Hard. Was I really the one held responsible for keeping Rose and Dimitri apart? The more I thought about it, the more I realized everything that I had put her through. I bit her my lip and turned away, unable to meet Rose's dark stare.

"It's not your fault," she said quickly.

Of _course._ She was reading my thoughts again. "Surely..." I paused, thinking about the ways that it might've happened. "There must have been a way... It wouldn't have been a problem..." But honestly, I didn't know.

Rose shrugged, looking unwilling. "I don't know," she said after a long heartbeat. "We tried to stay apart. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't."

My mind raced at the new information, and I felt guilty. Pity rose through me for Rose, but simultaneously, I was angry. "You should have told me," I repeated darkly. "I feel like you don't trust me." I trusted Rose with everything. _Everything._ And to find out that she didn't trust me back? That was a hard blow to me. Well, maybe she trusted me some. But it wasn't as much as I did her.

"Of course I trust you," Rose said.

"Is that why you're sneaking off?" I demanded.

"That has nothing to do with trust," she confessed. She turned to the horizon and shook her head. "It's me... well, I didn't want to tell you. I couldn't bear to tell you I was leaving or explain why." I could tell that she wanted to say the words: _If I said good-bye, I wouldn't be sure if I could actually leave you._

"I already know," I declared. "I figured it out."

"How?" The surprise was indicated in her tone.

"I was there. Last fall when we took that van into Missoula," I said, the images flickering through my head as I spoke. "The shopping trip? You and Dimitri were talking about Strigoi, about how becoming one makes you something twisted and evil... how it destroys the person you used to be and makes you do horrible things. And I heard..." I hesitated and met Rose's eyes. I swallowed hard before continuing. "I heard you say you'd rather die than become a monster like that."

She didn't speak after that, and I didn't speak, either. The wind billowed through our hair. I turned away from Rose, feeling ever so devastated. It was like she was dead, the feeling. Because her leaving was similar like she was dying. I wouldn't know if she was alive. I wouldn't know any of that, I would worry every day about her. She was my best friend.

"I have to do this, Liss," she spoke firmly after the long silence. "I have to do it for him."

"No," I said bitterly. "You don't have to. You didn't promise him anything."

"Not in words, no." Rose paused. "But you... you don't understand."

"I understand that you're trying to cope and that this is a good a way as any. You need to find another way to let him go," I said. I wanted to add, _I understand a whole lot more than you think I do. I lost my parents, my brother. Christian almost died. You think I know_ nothing _about grief? Well, you're wrong._ But I didn't have the heart to say those words. It hurt too much to mention my parents or my brother Andre.

She shook her head. "I have to do this."

"Even if it means leaving me?" I stared at her hard, and I could tell that the same memories were sweeping through her mind, too. We'd been together since childhood. I knew she despised choosing between me and Dimitri, but she was now.

"I have to do this," Rose repeated again. "I'm sorry."

"You're supposed to be my guardian and go with me to college," I pointed out, not wanting to be angry with her. But I was. "You're shadow-kissed. We're supposed to be together. If you leave me..."

I knew that the darkness that Spirit caused was growing. Rose's voice was tight and emotionless when she spoke again. "If I leave you, they'll get you another guardian. Two of them. You're the last Dragomir. They'll keep you safe."

"But they won't be you, Rose," I whispered. I locked my jade-green gaze onto her dark brown one. I didn't want to, but I did it. I knew that Rose was pretty much compulsion-resistant, and that's one of the reasons I did it. I used compulsion on Rose, slowly. It wasn't that much. I just wanted her to see reason. I wanted her to see that having her leave me would rip me apart.

"Stop it!" she yelled, angry. She turned away furiously so she wouldn't meet my eyes. "Do _not_ use compulsion on me. You're my friend. Friends don't use their powers on each other."

"Friends don't abandon each other," I snapped. I knew she would be angry, but I was angry, too. "If you were my friend, you wouldn't do it."

Rose turned back to me, but she lowered her gaze in case I tried to use compulsion on her again. But I wouldn't do that. Not now. She exploded. "It's not about you, okay? This time, it's about me. Not you. All my life, Lissa... all my life, it's been the same. _They come first._ I've lived my life for you. I've trained to be your shadow, but you know what? I want to come first. I need to take care of myself for once. I'm tired of looking out for everyone else and having to put aside what _I_ want. Dimitri and I did that, and look what happened. He's gone. I will never hold him again. Now I owe it to him to do this. I'm sorry if it hurts you, but it's my choice!"

She had yelled the words at me. She hadn't even paused to take a breath. And I just stared at her, shocked and hurt. I felt tears bud in my eyes, and I was powerless to keep them from falling. I despised myself for making Rose my shadow. She was right that she had lived her life for me. But it hurt me to have her leave me. "You love him more than me," I murmured softly, letting out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding.

"He needs me now," she muttered.

"I need you. He's gone, Rose."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "But he will be soon." She reached up her sleeve and took of the chotki on her wrist. I had given it to her for Christmas, saying that it was for a Dragomir's guardian, and she was my guardian. She held it out to me. I hesitated before taking it back. My fingers brushed against the Dragomir crest, and I felt tears stream down my face.

"What's this for?" I asked her.

"I can't wear it. It's for a Dragomir guardian," she explained. "I'll take it again when I..." I knew that she had almost said _if,_ and I had a feeling that she knew that I knew. "When I get back," she continued.

"Please, Rose," I pleaded. "Please don't leave me."

"I'm sorry," she said, offering up the simplistic of words. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

She walked away then, quickly, and I watched her turn to the gate. I wanted to go after her, but I was powerless to move. The guardians there looked shocked, but there was nothing they could do about it. Rose had said it herself: it was her choice. I felt grief and longing and sadness erupt in me. Rose had left me. She really had... I understood why she had... but I didn't have to like it.

Rose was my best friend. We had known each other forever, and she had promised me that she would be there for me. I knew that it was hard for her, too. Hard to leave me, but some part of me knew that Rose believed that she was doing the right thing. But what if Rose died trying to stake Dimitri? Would I know if she died? Would the bond tell me?

Then, I whispered, "Take care, Rose." I knew that she couldn't hear me, but I felt better in saying those words. _Indeed, Rose. Take care and come back to me when you're done._ Her silhouette was long gone, and I barely noticed it when someone came up to me. I turned and gazed into those frosty, ice-blue eyes. "Christian..." I whispered.

He held me in his arms, and I leaned into his chest. He didn't say anything... And he didn't need to.

 _Take care, Rose. I'll be waiting for you._

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed that one-shot with Lissa's POV. Lissa is my favorite character in VA (sorry to Rose fans; I like Rose okay), and I feel that there aren't very many stories about her. I hope to post more about her in the future. I _will_ take requests. If you like my writing style, I might personally write a short story about what you want. Reviews always brighten my day (criticism and praise), but they aren't necessary. Tell me what you think of the story. Did you like it?


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